‘And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping
our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and protects our faith.’
Hebrews 12:1b-2a
in Kigali talking about the magnitude of the of the problem, the scope of the
program and how it will work. I was nervous. I committed to get this ministry up and running no matter what it takes. I felt like I was crazy………
I can’t walk away now, even if it gets hard. I have to stick it out. But
how can we do this??
This is what I love about the Rwandan culture. Their faith!
Talking with them was so exciting, just to see their passion and commitment. To see their resolve and their faith in God to work out the details of making this ministry happen. I, on the other hand, was panicking. I can’t do this! What was I thinking?! What am I doing here?!
Why do they have so much more faith than we do in the U.S.?
Because they have to!
We, as Americans, have the ability to rely on ourselves, for the most part. Most of us don’t have to pray every day that we will have enough money to pay the rent so we don’t have to sleep on the streets. None of us have to pray every day that we would find enough food so that our family doesn’t literally starve to death. We don’t have to pray every day that what little food we can find, or the water we carried for miles won’t make us sick because we can’t afford to go to the doctor. We are not amongst the 15,000 African people that will die TODAY of preventable diseases. We know that our children are not one of the 26,575 children in this world that will die in the next 24 hours for lack of clean water, food or medicine.
I thank God that this is not the way we live. But I wonder what it will take for us to fully rely on God the way these people do. I don’t like that I can go home and just go back to living the same life. I pray and plead with God that He will break my heart EVERYDAY for what breaks His. I want my life to be used for a better purpose. I want to have the faith that the Rwandans have and just trust. Trust that God knows what he is doing and will work everything
out.
I hurt so badly in my heart for God’s children that are suffering and I cry because I can’t make people care enough to do something. But I have experienced an indescribable joy in fulfilling the calling God gave me. I also know that God is still working on me. I am so far from finished. But I get to see God working and I can’t wait to see what He does next!