There are times when I feel completely confident, totally in my element, and ready for anything. Then there are times when I don’t. Sometimes I feel lost, inadequate and completely unworthy to be used by God in this ministry.
This is one of those times.
I have so many regrets.
I have made so many mistakes.
There have been times I have wondered if He is even here. I have questioned who He really is. As this ministry stalled, I tried to move it forward on my own. Thinking for a moment, I was somehow the power behind it.
Ha, such a ridiculously human thought!
He is God!
He will do it how He wants, when He wants and with whomever He wants. I was just standing in the way, making a mess, while thinking I was leading the way. So I took a break to refocus my attention on the almighty God that is the true power. To remember who He really is.
I made a mess. But I know God can make beauty from ashes, and He already has. The new adventure we are starting on is already more promising and already more fruitful. I am so excited to be preparing to go back to Rwanda with a new team, to work with a new church. God has used a very dear friend and coworker of mine to start a new relationship with an amazing woman, named Mama Joy. She is dedicated to helping the hurting women in her town. Ironically enough, it is in the very same town where God called me to this mission 5 years ago. Now I get to go back with a fresh perspective and a healthy view of our awesome God!
After years of trying to start a job training program, we finally get to see it happen! The women get to learn to sew and find a new life through the local church. I am in awe of what God is doing! And I am grateful for this opportunity to see His plan in action!
This is one of those times.
I have so many regrets.
I have made so many mistakes.
There have been times I have wondered if He is even here. I have questioned who He really is. As this ministry stalled, I tried to move it forward on my own. Thinking for a moment, I was somehow the power behind it.
Ha, such a ridiculously human thought!
He is God!
He will do it how He wants, when He wants and with whomever He wants. I was just standing in the way, making a mess, while thinking I was leading the way. So I took a break to refocus my attention on the almighty God that is the true power. To remember who He really is.
I made a mess. But I know God can make beauty from ashes, and He already has. The new adventure we are starting on is already more promising and already more fruitful. I am so excited to be preparing to go back to Rwanda with a new team, to work with a new church. God has used a very dear friend and coworker of mine to start a new relationship with an amazing woman, named Mama Joy. She is dedicated to helping the hurting women in her town. Ironically enough, it is in the very same town where God called me to this mission 5 years ago. Now I get to go back with a fresh perspective and a healthy view of our awesome God!
After years of trying to start a job training program, we finally get to see it happen! The women get to learn to sew and find a new life through the local church. I am in awe of what God is doing! And I am grateful for this opportunity to see His plan in action!