So will I

So, here I go again. Back to Rwanda, a place where a part of my heart lives. I love Rwanda. I love the people, I love the smell, I love learning from them, I love helping in anyway I can. But mostly I love seeing God work miracles every single day that we are there. 
But...... I hate leaving my family.  My daughter, who loves Rwanda too and so badly wants to go back. Who supports me and encourages me everyday.  My son, who is now 2 1/2 years old and now notices when I am gone. Who makes me laugh everyday and gives the best hugs.  And my amazing husband who holds it all together while I am gone. Who hates this more than anything but supports me anyway because he knows how much this means to me.  I love them all so much!
As hard as it is to go though, I can't imagine not going. I want to grow in my faith, to be pushed beyond ordinary, to see the world and people the way God intended, and do what He has asked of me. I want to raise my kids to know that following God is the most important thing you can do in life - even when it's hard. 
Every trip I struggle with the same thing - why me? I feel unworthy, like I don't have much to offer. Plus I hate public speaking so it makes me the worst candidate. But as I sit here, listening to my "Jesus Jams" (as my son calls it) I am reminded that God uses the willing. So that is what I will be. 
I love music and sometimes find answers in songs. So as I go on this journey, one song keeps playing over and over in my head since I heard it on Sunday.  So will I, by Hillsong.  More specifically the line that says: If you gave your life to love them,  So will I 
So far this has proven a little more difficult as airports are filled with very interesting people from all walks of life. I think this will be the theme of this trip so my prayer is that my teammate, Pam, and I are able to glorify God in huge ways and that God would give me the ability to show His love to everyone I encounter on this journey, even if I don't want to ;)