in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge
for us. Psalm 63:8
and for washing them clean. Being there dancing with them was such a blessing. This ministry is full of frustration, disappointment, heartbreak and tears. The special moments are few and these moments make it all worth it. The joy and gratefulness was so apparent with them, I just wish I could bottle up that feeling and take it home with me, so I can feel that again when I feel like giving up. Because there are times when I feel like giving up. There are times that I wrestle with God on why He called me to do this. Why halfway across the planet? Why is it so difficult? Why does He allow His people to suffer?
My heart aches for these women every single day. I struggle with my feelings of being inadequate and ineffective. But I can’t unsee the things I have seen. I can’t unlove these women. I can’t just go back to my life the way it was before. I can’t walk away and tell God that it’s too hard or that I am unwilling to go where He has called me. I can only pray for strength and pray that He continues to give me little moments like today in church, when I felt His power and the
joy of His people. I am grateful for this day and for God giving me exactly what I needed to keep moving forward after a couple of really hard days. For now my tears are dry and I soak up this day, knowing the next hard one is just around the corner. And when God knows I need more encouragement, He will give me just that.