Today was a kind of a rough day, I have to say. We got to meet the group of 30 women who have been saved and have decided that they were going to make a better life for themselves. This was so great to see! They started a savings group where they all put money in each week and any of them can borrow from the pot to help with living expenses, buying items to sell at the market, starting a small business, etc. This helps them work together to make a change for themselves.
When the women stood up to share their stories of how the group was going and where they were so far, they also shared about what the money was used for and how it was paid back. They shared about how great it was to have a church that cared about them and also how they were nervous about how they would survive because it still was very hard. They also shared about how I had hurt them by helping
just one woman while she was sick a few months back, and she was still drinking and involved in prostitution and didn't deserve it.
I was kind of shocked! I had no idea they even knew about that. What could I even say?
I had made a mistake. I did the American thing and threw some money at a problem hoping it would be fixed. I didn’t think about the effects it would have on the others.
So I stood there, thinking. Do I try to defend my actions? Do I tell them why I did what I did? Do I explain that she was dying and I panicked? Do I not address it at all? What do I do?
I decided it was best to own up to my mistake. Not to defend my actions, just to admit my humanness. Just to apologize. Not to apologize for caring but to ask forgiveness for not thinking of the whole group when I made my decision. I promised to work directly with their pastor to find the best solution for their specific needs. Since giving money to one didn’t work, then giving even more to a group wouldn’t work either. Through prayer we would find an answer.
God taught me a lesson today. He taught me that it is not me who helps, but Him. He doesn’t need our money, but it should be offered freely. He doesn’t need us to do His work, but we should be more than willing to do it. These women were changing because of what He was doing in them, not because of anything I had or had not done. I am only a vessel that He can use if He chooses. Our God is a God of miracles, and I trust in Him to find a way out for these women.
When the women stood up to share their stories of how the group was going and where they were so far, they also shared about what the money was used for and how it was paid back. They shared about how great it was to have a church that cared about them and also how they were nervous about how they would survive because it still was very hard. They also shared about how I had hurt them by helping
just one woman while she was sick a few months back, and she was still drinking and involved in prostitution and didn't deserve it.
I was kind of shocked! I had no idea they even knew about that. What could I even say?
I had made a mistake. I did the American thing and threw some money at a problem hoping it would be fixed. I didn’t think about the effects it would have on the others.
So I stood there, thinking. Do I try to defend my actions? Do I tell them why I did what I did? Do I explain that she was dying and I panicked? Do I not address it at all? What do I do?
I decided it was best to own up to my mistake. Not to defend my actions, just to admit my humanness. Just to apologize. Not to apologize for caring but to ask forgiveness for not thinking of the whole group when I made my decision. I promised to work directly with their pastor to find the best solution for their specific needs. Since giving money to one didn’t work, then giving even more to a group wouldn’t work either. Through prayer we would find an answer.
God taught me a lesson today. He taught me that it is not me who helps, but Him. He doesn’t need our money, but it should be offered freely. He doesn’t need us to do His work, but we should be more than willing to do it. These women were changing because of what He was doing in them, not because of anything I had or had not done. I am only a vessel that He can use if He chooses. Our God is a God of miracles, and I trust in Him to find a way out for these women.
RSS Feed
